People look East the time is near…

So yesterday was the first Sunday in Advent. The wreath was prepared and the candles were trimmed and ready for lighting. The brass followers were polished.

The service itself was very nice with the music and the Advent wreath in the darkness of the chapel with the first candle lit.

Then I was with some friends for lunch - what are your Christmas plans? All the rest in the group had family to spend time with.

I talked with my sister and brother in law on the west coast yesterday. We will not meet up at Christmas but parcels are being prepared.

I will be spending time with my church family. There is always lots of Altar Guild activities. I have already made a list. Candles and flowers need particular attention.

Going back in my past I was always in Lachute for Christmas and I missed St. John’s. Now I look fondly at those times past in my life. Then I remember my mom coming to Ottawa to spend time with me.

When looking through my old diary from 1974 when I first came to Ottawa there was some question of maybe being in Toronto for Christmas. That did not happen and Kathi and I were with my mom and dad in Lachute. Little did we know that was to be his last Christmas before he died the next May.

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Enjoy the people and times and places that one has - you never know what is around the corner.

Camp and parents and horses

I was watching the parents dropping off the kids for summer camp at the barn. I had memories of my mom and dad.

Before Kathi and I were able to drive ourselves my mom and dad provided transportation to the barn. It was a big thing when we learned to drive and even more so when we acquired our own car.

Then there are memories of being driven to summer camp in the Laurentians. That was quite a trip. We had trunks for our one month stay. Parents appeared at Parents Day with a fine picnic and my dad might have gone in swimming with us - my mom did not swim. Now this particular camp is having a 90th anniversary.

Ayers family connections

My dad and his dad worked for Ayers. The company eventually packed up and went to Florida but that was quite a while after my dad and my grandfather had both died.

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I was watching the program about the actor who plays Hercule Poirot - David Suchet - as he took a trip on the Orient Express. He got to drive the train.

I could not help thinking about one of the Ayers family. He loved trains and had a large setup in his basement - for his two sons or for himself? Sometimes he was allowed to drive the train that went from Lachute to Montreal.

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I have in my house several Ayers items.
A coffee mug
A key chain
Some dishes

Of course I have some Ayers blankets. I actually found some on sale on Ebay.

A long time ago when I was at a horsy store in Ottawa there were some woollen horse blankets with the Ayers crest.

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I remember going to my dad’s office and sitting in his swivel desk chair.

My mom was much impressed by the telex machine that could receive messages when no one was in the office.

I remember Christmas parties for the children of the staff and Santa being there to give out the presents.

I remember their elaborate Christmas decorations - a full sized crèche and a Santa and his reindeer display.

I remember the railroad tracks that went into the mill yard. They went behind the house on Princess Street.

I remember one expedition to Montreal to Belmont Park to go on the rides. There was a train arranged from the mill yard and families went off together for a day of fun. I found this wonderful web site which brings back some memories.

http://cec.chebucto.org/ClosPark/Belmont.html

Celebrating parents

For not the first or last time there was news of various parents on the Weight Watchers Nifty Fifties Board. The folks are getting older and not well and how do we deal with this?

No matter how long or short their lives were they are remembered as a part of our lives.

So we toasted my dad on May 24 - he died 35 years ago. I am older than he was and Kathi is somewhat approaching that date.

Hold onto your hat

My grandfather wore a cap like this. He had to be reminded sometimes to take it off when he came inside.

My dad had quite a small sized head. When he picked up someone else’s hat by mistake he knew about it right away - it was way down over his ears!!

Get your hat…the line in a movie I was watching. That dates the movie because men do not wear hats any more only those baseball type caps that are not appealing to me at all.

There was an urban legend that JFK did not wear a hat to his inauguration and therefore the wearing of hats by men took a steady decline. This fun website refutes this popular myth.

http://www.snopes.com/history/american/jfkhat.asp
　

July 7, 1917

My dad was born in Bury, Lancashire, England.

I visited there with my mom after my dad died.

One of the matrons in the boarding school at Trafalgar was from Bury.

Father's Day card

A father's life is not an easy one! - especially fathers with children!!!!!

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A card that is in the family archives.

May 24, 1975

At the time that my dad actually died which was early in the evening I was having dinner with some friends. Later on I told them about my dad’s death. They are still good friends even though they live a long way away.

So I was not in any space to make arrangements to get home to be with my mom. I did not have a car. So the company chauffeur from where my dad had worked and a neighbour drove up to get me. I have a strange memory of driving through the Quebec towns in the middle of the night.

When I got to the house in Lachute my mom was there with Kathi’s godparents. They were very close family friends. In fact they had been told of my dad’s death first and then had phoned my mom and came to the house and then told her. They left soon after and my mom and I sat up all night.

My sister was travelling that weekend and it was some time before we connected. Finally we got in touch with a friend who left a note at her apartment to phone as soon as she got home. She did that and I was the one to tell her that our dad had died.

My dad’s sister was living 2 doors over. The neighbour in between had noticed that the lights were on at the houses all night. Someone knocked on our door and again I had to tell them the news.

My mom’s sister and husband came to stay for a while. My dad’s dad and his second wife - Aunt Margaret - also came by. They very seldom came to our house. He was very upset.

My dad had worked just down the street. So that first weekday evening at about 5 o’clock my mom was in visible distress. My dad would never be coming home again from work. My sister and I sat with my mom.

My dad had been a Mason so we had a very short Masonic service at the funeral parlour. I remember nothing about the service itself. At the cemetery a close riding friend was there. She had lost her own dad some years before. She reached out her hand to grab mine.

At the house after the service some of the younger crowd - my friends and Kathi’s were sitting around on the stairs. I remember my mom saying later - I am glad your friends were there for you.

Kathi went back to Montreal to university and I went back to Ottawa. My mom was very lonely that first summer and I came home many weekends. At the end of July Kathi celebrated her 21st birthday. My mom was not up to doing anything special so Kathi’s godparents had a family gathering at their house.

Later that year my mom suggested that she and I take a trip together. So that was my first trip to England.

Difficult phone calls

I would think that most folks have phone calls that they will always remember.

It was late at night and I was awakened by the phone ringing. My mom was very upset - I cannot believe it - she said. My first thought was of her mom who at that time was a good age. No - it was my dad who had died very suddenly when on a fishing trip.

My first phone calls after hearing this news were to 2 close friends. They both offered to come over to be with me but I told them that I was o.k. I was certainly in a daze.

I was picked up a few hours later and brought back to Lachute.

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Then early one morning I was awakened by the phone ringing. It was from the nursing home where my mom was. She had died very peacefully during the night. This was not unexpected.

My first call was to my sister in a time zone three hours earlier. She did not get much sleep that night. Then I phoned the funeral home and when I told the director my name, he asked whether I was related to Kathi. I told him I was and he said they had been in the same class at school.

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I was dealing with Bishop’s serious illness when on a planned trip to Kathi’s. I was already expecting the bad news. Bishop really was very sick. It was almost a relief to get the phone call that there was nothing else that could be done for him.

In my house: basement items

I was looking around my basement the other day and realizing that I had lots of items from Lachute. In fact some of them went back some time as my dad would have recognized them.

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A small lamp that was in the guestroom.

A sun hat that my mom wore at Green Acres. (See previous post)

A round table that was in the living room.

A fall scene bought by my dad at Eaton's. It was painted by a family friend.

The baby butler table. My mom used it in later years for her plants in the front porch.

A round wicker basket that my mom's mom used to bring home her groceries.

A small brown table and a small red table. They were always in the television room after my dad died. Before that I am not too sure.

A Noah's Ark tablecloth that had belonged to my mom when she was little.

A weather glass that was a gift from a family friend - the husband of the friend who did the fall painting.

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I do enjoy the connections of these items in my house. I have many more items that came from the family home in Lachute.

Health care

I have now worn glasses for so long that they are a part of me. I will never be saying - where are my glasses?

I remember going to the Shriners’ Circus in Montreal and not being able to see all the 3 rings. I also had trouble in school seeing what was going on.

I got contact lens over 20 years ago and I wore them consistently for a long time. Unfortunately now I have to wear reading glasses as well. I find this to be somewhat of a nuisance so I gave up the lens except when I am riding. With a riding helmet and all the dust the contact lens are more comfortable.

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Recently my left eye needed some extra attention. I went to my own ophthalmologist and he sent to a retinal specialist. I got a message that I was to be at the Riverside Hospital before 10:30 a.m. It was about 9:30 a.m. and I was in downtown Ottawa. It was a snowy day.

I got to the hospital in plenty of time. When I went into the parking lot I was getting concerned because there were cars driving around looking for a space to park. I joined the queue. In time I gave up and went and parked on a side street.

My adventures at the Eye Care Centre - Riverside Campus took almost 3 hours. When I eventually saw the specialist he found a small tear and used a laser to repair the tear. This medical technology is quite amazing.

When I was all done I was very satisfied with my treatment. It had been less than 48 hours since the problem had started. I was glad to find my car again and be on my way home.

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One of my earliest health care adventures I do not remember except that my parents told me about it. I was very little. My dad was left in charge of me. He was changing my diaper and I got curious and swallowed a safety pin. Fortunately it was closed. I was rushed to the doctor. My dad was in a panic. An X-ray was taken and the pin was clearly seen. It time it passed. I do not know how long it took my dad to recover from this adventure.

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I do not remember trips to the doctor when I was growing up. I think I must have been healthy. In those days you did not get all the vaccinations for the childhood diseases. I had 2 kinds of measles, chickenpox and mumps.

When I had the chickenpox I was kept out of school for 3 weeks but I had no holiday. My mom had arranged with my teacher to have my schoolwork sent home. I passed the chickenpox on to Kathi who was then attending kindergarten. Then all her class had chickenpox as well.

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Now my trips to my GP involve a lot of tests and followup for the test results. The results have always been satisfactory and those minor health issues I have are being taken care of. She apologized one time for sending me all over the city to different clinics and hospitals.

Let it snow

This picture was taken the year of the big snow in Eastern Canada - 1970/71. It looked like my dad had been busy with the snow shovel . If you look more closely at the tire tracks in the driveway you realize that the snow was probably mostly moved by a tractor or other snow moving device.


My dad had my mom take the picture to send to the English relatives to show them how much snow we really had.

Last year in Ottawa we came close to breaking the record set that year. There was lots of snow and I shovelled a lot and my neighbour with a snowblower helped me as well.

I was glad that I bought my winter tires for last winter as this year they are mandatory in Quebec and there is a shortage all over.

I remember this song when winter rolls around again. A good friend who has spent much time in Quebec had never heard of this song.

Mon pays ce n'est pas un pays, c'est l'hiver

http://user.icx.net/~richmond/fgcgathering/vigneault.html


Last Christmas I was returning from Toronto on Boxing Day. The bus took the highway towards Peterborough and then Highway 7 to Ottawa. It was snowing very hard all the way. There was lots of traffic and we met lots of snowplows. The traffic has to slow down for them but you are glad that they are doing their work. We finally arrived in Ottawa 1 ½ hours late.

So this morning I am off to see Abra. It is snowing. The trip usually takes 20 minutes one way. The last time it was snowing it took me 1 hour to get home. I am making sure that I have lots of windshield wiper fluid and music CDs for entertainment.

November 11th

My dad when he went into the service - I am guessing. He looks so young.


I have in my house his war memorabilia - his helmet, his war records, his medals.

I also have a stuffed doll that my mom made to keep her company when my dad was overseas. His name is Major.


I also have all the letters that my dad sent my mom when he was overseas. They make for very interesting reading.


My dad's dad was at Gallipoli and he was wounded there. He always had trouble with his back after that. He went home to England and my dad was born in July 1917. The family immigrated to Canada in 1925. My dad was 7 and his sister Joyce was 5. Now you can find the passenger lists for the ships at Libray and Archives Canada.


Grandpa Milnes was an active member of the Legion in Lachute. So was my dad in his time. Each year there was a picture of the WWI vets in the local newspaper and my grandfather was in it. Each year the group got smaller.


Growing up in Lachute I remember the church parades and the service at the
Cenotaph. My parents had several records by Vera Lynn - the Forces Sweetheart. Now you can find some of her recordings on YouTube.


Living in Ottawa for over 30 years I have memories of the service at the National War Memorial. It has been many years since I have been there in person. The weather is usually cold and dreary which it promises to be again today.


This year I paid a visit to the War Museum. There were lots of schoolchildren there which was good to see.


I may watch later today my tape of the program of the repatriation of the Unknown Soldierin 2000. Another possibility is the movie - A Foreign Field. Both are very moving.


From IMDB - "Amos and Cyril are a pair of British veterans from WWII, going back to Normandy 50 years after D-Day to visit an old buddy's grave. There, they run into Waldo, an American WWII vet. And both Waldo and Cyril run into a French woman they were both enamored of in their soldiering days and begin squabbling over her. Waldo's son and daughter-in-law are putting up with him and each other. And the entire group meet up with a woman who has come to visit the grave of her brother. Together, they form an odd camaraderie, bound by the past as they share their memories."

Green Acres is the place to be

For several years my mom and dad had a second garden in the country at the farm of the dad of Kathi's godfather.


It was close by so they could easily get there in the evenings. As you can see the crops were plentiful.

So were the groundhogs - they had lots of tales of trying to keep them away. The pleasures of gardening - there are often uninvited guests.

They called the garden Green Acres which name came from a very silly TV series starring Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor as a couple who move from New York City to a farm in the country.

This was the theme song.

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide.

My dad and mom and Kathi's godparents enjoyed their time at Green Acres. There were extra vegetables when the groundhogs did not get them first.

Family history

This lovely needlepoint picture and its companion are hanging in my living room in Ottawa now.

These are quite special - these Lipizzaner horses.

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I have been having some fun with family history. With the moving of my mom to Ottawa in 2004, I now have several boxes of materials - mostly in my basement. There are several more boxes of photograph albums and loose pictures as well. More of them are loose than I would like as some are falling out of their place in the albums. It is interesting to see how the different kept pictures in place. The very early ones - the pictures are glued to the page. All the way to a CD with family pictures of Kathi and I that was made from slides.



My mom kept interesting family documents. These include my dad's military records. A special part of these records is a military doll - named Major - which my mom made to keep her company when my dad was overseas. Another special part are all the letters that my dad sent my mom when he was overseas. I have read them all and so has Kathi. They make for very interesting reading.



There is a large pile of postcards from my mom. Kathi travelled quite a bit and my mom liked to keep these to remember her travels.



There are some fun items as well. A cute little illustrated letter from my mom to her parents when she was at university detailing her daily activities. I have a large get well card that my sister gave my mom after she had a serious car accident.

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What else I have and what I want to do with what I have is going to keep me busy for some time to come.

Anniversaries

There are lots of anniversaries that come to be part of our lives - both personal and less so. There are nice ones to remember and not so nice ones to remember. Even the ones that are more difficult make us stop and remember.

As the 1st anniversary of my retirement approaches, I remember my work career and important dates - when I started my government career,when I moved to my 2nd and final job - it lasted a long time but there was lots of changes.

I remember the date I bought my first car.

I remember the day I bought my house and the day I took possession of the house.

I also need to remember my dad and my mom on the anniversaries of their deaths. I can understand why it is a tradition to put flowers on the altar at church and remember loved ones in that specific way.

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I know that some of this remembering of anniversaries was prompted by news items and not just September 11th.

Princess Diana's death.

Hurricane Katrina.

The Swissair airplane crash off Nova Scotia.

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My blog will always have lots of remembering of events - I started with one for a stuffed animal who was an important part of my life.

Do it now

My mom and dad enjoying a drink at the downstairs bar at 320 Princess Street Lachute.

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Remembering them and sharing with them about my horsey pursuits.

My dad had ridden horses when he was younger but my sister (also a horse owner) and I never saw him on a horse. One of my last memories of him was the weekend before he died so unexpectedly. I told him I was buying a horse (not this current one but my first horse). He said – if I can help you in any way do let me know. Now I am so glad that I told him.


I had to be there for my mom for 5 1/2 years. She had major surgery 3 times, gave up her house, moved to a retirement home and then to a nursing home for 19 months. She died very peacefully in October 2006. One of the last places I took her was to see the new barn where my horse lives. After that she did not get out and about any more. I was so pleased that I did that.

I just had news of a former neighbour who is only in her 60s and is now in a palliative care facility with terminal cancer. She and her husband had lived in a house very similar to mine and I always wanted them to see my recent renovations. Now she will not have the chance.

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So the words and advice to myself - if you are thinking of doing something, do it now - you may not have the chance later on.

So the

Father's Day 2008: remembering my dad

My dad died over 30 years ago so some of this remembering is difficult. I am the same age as he was when he died. He died of a heart attack on a fishing trip. He liked to fish but it was more for being with others and being outside in the fresh air. His family did not often see the results of his activities on our dinner table!

He had a sense of humour. It served him well when he was overseas during WWII from May 1942 until December 1945. My mom had kept all of the letters that he sent her. They made for some very interesting reading. There were lots of thanks for food parcels which were very well received and the contents did not last too long!

Some funny food and exercise references from these letters:
- At one time he was in charge of the mess but he soon gave it up. My only interest in food is stuffing into myself.
- We had chicken for dinner. The local farmers will be around tomorrow investigating.
- We are having a little kitchen trouble; one of the most delicate parts of the operation of the outfit.
- Thanks for the box of fudge which I have just polished off this morning.
- There is a 15 mile march ahead so here is where I drop another 2 pounds.
- I am trying to toughen myself up and cut down the waist line by various methods. I will let you know later if it succeeds this time.

He had fun playing sports – skating, skiing, hockey, curling, and golf.
He raised 2 daughters with my mom. They liked to travel together, especially to England where my dad was born and to Europe.

He was a gardener and especially liked to check out the status of his tomato plants. He loved eating tomatoes and drinking tomato juice.

My mom missed him dreadfully when he died. My sister and I were both living away from home. She lived over 30 years on her own. Now I remember them both with a great deal of fondness. My mom died in October 2006 and my dad in May 1975.